The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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