hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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