i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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