Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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