Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
