hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
