Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
