So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
