why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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