Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
