I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
