Plan B is the new Plan A
It's Friday. Sex?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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