So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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