just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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