A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
