I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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