garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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