Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
