I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize