im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I bet he comes in French.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
