And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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