Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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