i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
