If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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