okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
