I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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