I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
