You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
