I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pants 0. Shit 1.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
