all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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