So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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