I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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