I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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