he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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