sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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