We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
