yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
