I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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