"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
