she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
