I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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