I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
