Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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