I'm lost and stupid without you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
