glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
