So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm at about main and main street
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
