I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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