I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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