apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
