Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
