Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
