She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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